Comprehensive Tech Drama Handbook

Buddy's Guide to Tech Drama

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I. vim vs emacs

II. ruby vs python

III. coffeescript vs javascript

  • Stage 1 : Damage Control

    • Person A : CS sucks, useless abstraction. QQ.
    • Person B : CS is a tool, preference blabla!
    • Person A : CS still suck!
  • Stage 2 : Circle Jerk - When everyone finally agrees with either person A or B

IV. rails vs other frameworks

  • Stage 1 : Damage Control

    • Person A : framework X sucks
    • Person B : framework X is a tool
    • Person A : No, framework X still sucks
  • Stage 2 : Circle Jerk - When everyone finally agrees with either person A or B

V. nosql vs sql

  • Stage 1 : Damage Control

  • Stage 2 : Circle Jerk

VI. Too masochistic/Feministic/Ultra-sexist

  • Stage 1 : A member (most likely a girl) points out that using ‘hey dudes’ or ‘hey guys’ is gender-insensitive.
  • Stage 2 : Escalation
  • Stage 3 : exchange of TLDR responses
  • Stage 4 : Someone is told to leave
  • Stage 5 : Behavior toned down

VII. Rockstar behavior

  • Stage 1 : Issue is raised
  • Stage 2 : exchange of TLDR responses
  • Stage 3 : Someone is told to leave
  • Stage 4 : Behavior toned down

VIII. Hyper passivity

  • Stage 1 : Issue is raised
  • Stage 2 : Someone is told to leave
  • Stage 3 : Behavior toned down

IX. Freelancing vs dev shops vs corporations

X. Remote work vs office work

  • Stage 1 : Remote working person says he’s glad he doesn’t work at an office.
  • Stage 2 : Office working people keeps shut about it.
  • Stage 3 : Remote working person gets talked about in the next dev meetup.

XI. Beer

  • Stage 1 : Issue is raised
  • Stage 2 : Someone is told to leave
  • Stage 3 : Behavior toned down

XII. Vulgarity

  • Stage 1 : Issue is raised
  • Stage 2 : Someone is told to leave
  • Stage 3 : Behavior toned down

XIII. World/Local Politics

  • Stage 1 : Some guy keeps on posting blogs posts/news articles about Politics and how some arm of government sucks at doing their job.
  • Stage 2 : Someone tells the person from #1 that most of the people in the circle are not interested
  • Stage 3 : Hilarity ensues

XIV. Get muscling (or perceived to be) big-named companies to sponsor your event

  • Stage 1 : A disliked sponsor attaches their name to the title of an event on an RSVP page
  • Stage 2 : Some members go ‘WTF’, organizers gets called out.
  • Stage 4 : Hilarity ensues
  • Stage 5 : Sponsors go “wtf? you approached us and this is what we get?”
  • Stage 6 : Community gets split, members who don’t care about the drama reluctantly joins both and now has 2 separate groups to follow and post their stuff to.

XV. Why X meetup happens in Y city? I came from Z city and I have to fight with Y traffic Alt+QQ

  • Stage 1 : A tech group hosts meetup in Y city
  • Stage 2 : Some members go ‘OMG WTF BBQ’, why not in Z city?.
  • Stage 4 : Hilarity ensues
  • Stage 5 : Offending party washes hands clean, tries to make peace
  • Stage 6 : Offending party will not attend said tech meetups ever.

XVI. Android vs iOS

  • Stage 1 : There’s a new release of Android/iOS
  • Stage 2 : Fanboiz will OMG they copied X feature from Y OS!
  • Stage 4 : Hilarity ensues
  • Stage 5 : After 3 months, cold war again
  • Stage 6 : Windows Phone is meh

XVII. Have your own definition of a Buzzword

  • Stage 1 : Fix a misconception by introducing your own opinion on what a buzzword means
  • Stage 2 : YOLO